The Top Dog is The Dog on Top--And Other Dumb Human-Made Rituals we Impose on Dogs

Lets explore them, and ferret out how dogs really roll.

“The top dog is the dog on top” was the slogan of a K9 trainer I heard speak at an aggression seminar in the late 90s. He warned that allowing a dog on furniture raises the status and runs the risk of future aggression.

Whether being on furniture is of dog’s nature is impossible to determine because, well, free-roaming dogs don’t have furniture. What can be observed is that a dog who stiffly stands over something or someone is asserting ownership. However, that is not the same as loosely occupying the cushiest spot in the house. Fact is that in almost all cases a dog who wants to be on the couch or bed either likes to lie on something softer than the hardwood floor, or is looking for scent comfort. When the latter, it is the opposite of asserting ownership: the dog feels uneasy and the sofa and bed are perceived safety nets.

In the photo you see feral born baby Will on top of Grover, the dog she clung to in her foster home. Dominant? Far from it. Will did the same with our Newf Baywolf when she joined us, and was lifelong deferential to us, and every dog in our home. It was several months before she was brave enough to join us humans on the bed, like all ours dogs did, and I could not have been happier. The other photo is Mike and Bowie…well, it’s evident what they are doing.

Next up are ‘first’ rules a good number of trainers are obsessed with and the general public confused about.

Going out the door first? Irrelevant. When your dog darts outside he is impatient and unable to control himself because he is super excited to get outside. Teaching him to be patient is a great idea because it prevents bolting or pulling you down the stairs, but it has nothing to do with who the alpha is. It doesn’t matter whether it’s you or he who first passes the door’s threshold once you released him to do so. The true test of leadership is not who exits first, but whether you can influence your dog once you are outside. Does your dog still take his cues from you?

The reverse, who enters the home first, also doesn’t matter. In fact, insisting on the me-enter-before-you rule can actually backfire when something panicked your dog and he wants to get back to where he feels safest. Especially when dealing with fear issues, it is idiotic to have a dog wait until the almighty master goes in first because the pressure of waiting could causer him to run the other way. We had Bowie for just a couple of weeks when a sudden sharp noise scared him while we were playing in the unfenced portion of our yard (yes, stupid). Luckily Bowie already felt that the house was his refuge and ran to the door, which we opened right away without caring one bit that he entered first. It was his home too, not just ours.

Aside from the fact that this door ritual these trainers make such a show of has nothing to do with status, it is also rarely consistently enforced. The car can be an equally meaningful place for a dog and I have yet to meet a person who gets into their vehicle first and then invites the dog in. What about when you open the door to let your dog go pee? Are you going out the door first then? Always? When it rains or it’s frigid outside? My guess is no, and then the very same door you’re anal about when you go for a walk suddenly becomes a space your dog controls. A rule enforced sometimes is no rule at all and confuses the dog.

Walking in front is another elegant but garbled take on what happens in nature. Despite what you heard ad nauseam, being in the physical lead does not make you the leader of the pack. Trainers who suggest otherwise take being in the lead literally when it should be understood metaphorically. There is a twist on that, though. Some dogs indeed correct or block another who is about to pass. Davie did it occasionally, but once she’d made her point she allowed the other dogs to walk ahead of her. And she only made her point occasionally. For the most part, Davie didn’t give a rat’s tail about how other dogs in the group positioned themselves relative to her—and that is normal.

Dogs in nature don't march in a permanent linear configuration based on hierarchical status. It is not in any canid’s nature to micromanage every step every group member takes, and no member permanently follows another within a foot or two. What you can observe when dogs aren’t controlled by people is that they, regardless of gender or age, move in a number of fluctuating orientations:

Parallel to each other with varying distances

One lagging behind and then catching up

One running ahead and then waiting

All the while all remain mentally connected.

Having awareness of the others’ movements and activities, with owned dogs that includes humans, is a sign that there is group identity and cohesion. If your dog knows where you are and follows when you change directions, you are the leader of the walk even if she hangs back to investigate an interesting spot or runs ahead to feel her legs. If you are perceived as important, she’ll catch up quickly or wait for you. It is truly is a beautiful thing when that happens fluidly. Like being connected with an invisible line—and I mean really invisible not shock collar invisible. Neither party pays conscious attention to the others yet all are moving as one. That is possible in a functioning relationship where your dog wants to go where you go. The key word is ‘wants’.

Now compare this to the ‘the alpha is in front’ mantra of some trainers. Veiled as nature’s template, the dog is fitted with a collar that gives the person absolute physical control and allows them person to disregard the dog’s needs. Being constantly forced to walk beside or behind is, in fact, the reason why the human requires a shock or prong collar, or snoot loop. Typically the leash doesn’t have a slack but is kept short. Of the 6 feet typical leash length the dog get 1 or 2. But no matter how tall the person struts, as long as he relies on equipment and a tight leash to make a dog follow, he doesn’t have the dog’s mind, just control over his body. That changes when the dog takes her cues from her people. All ours typically walked in front, but heeded our verbal signals: “wait”, “leave”, “left”, “right”, ‘keep going”. They ignored other dogs and people, didn’t chase cyclists or wildlife, and checked in with us every so often without needing to be prompted—on the leash and off. If your dog does this, you are the leader of the walk. Your dog follows you metaphorically, albeit not necessarily literally.

Granted, the human being the one who eats first is a bit out of vogue, but I still meet clients every so often who are confused about that or follow that rule. What does nature say?

In a natural wolf pack the pups, the weakest links in the pack, have priority access to food.

At the wildlife park in Ernstbrunn/Austria dogs and wolves are kept in large, respective to their species, enclosures to allow researchers to observe how each kind behaves naturally. They observed that wolves, regardless of rank, consumed together when there was enough food. With dogs the researcher observed a different behavior. When there was a hierarchy—and between dogs there can be such a thing but that’s a separate blog—the dominant dogs did defend food and the subordinates accepted others’ first choice access. Where does this leave us with our owned dogs? In a home the dog is a dependent like a young child: the weakest link. Plus, between dogs and humans there is a natural hierarchy and, unless artificially created, resource competition between people and dogs doesn’t exist. We were and are such an idiot-proof match because we have complimentary skills, but also because we aren’t interested in the same stuff. Historically dogs consumed what humans didn’t want: waste. Free-roaming dogs still do that, and in a roundabout way many of our owned dogs do too—almost all kibble brands belong to any of the large conglomerates and what better way to make human-food production garbage profitable than to put it in animal feed. It’s still waste, just has a modern so-called science stamp on it. I am being side-tracked. The point is that it is absolutely uncalled for leaving your dog hungry until you’ve filled your gut to make an additional alpha point.

You also don’t have to take it a step further and fumble around in your dog’s food dish or briefly take it away to make it clear that you’re the alpha. This is socially abnormal human behavior regardless of rank. Your boss might have the power to reach for an hors d’oeuvre on your plate at the office party, but no matter how low of a go-fer you are, you’d have every right to tell him to cut it out. Maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you would nervously laugh because you worry for your job, but you’d still feel resentful not respectful, and high-status likely wouldn’t be the word you’d choose to describe him to others. More like whacko asshat.

And there is never a reason, none ever, to pat a dog while he eats or chews a bone. Children can learn that too. How do you teach kids? The same way you teach them to keep their hands off the stove, not run across the street without looking, or go with a stranger.

The take away! There is no food scarcity in my home, and I think not in yours either. Eating should be peaceful for your dog, and when it is that’s the single best way to prevent resource aggression. Conversely, when food is contested, even if just ritualistically, the dog has reason to be guarded, and that can be extended to other possessions as well. It’s all about trust. Any trainer who tells you otherwise is either ignorant about this or blatantly misleading you.

A dog shouldn’t even have to wait to be released to eat. Rather, not for long. And hand-feeding is also nonsense. Hand your dog’s food over in a bowl and let her eat in peace. That is what’s natural, and that is what you do when you feed your other dependents: your kids. Right? Always remember the universal truth of authentic leaders: they don’t bother with the stuff that’s unimportant to them—and how badly do you really want that bowl of kibble?

Last on our list of firsts is the claim that it’s the alpha who initiates an interaction. That rule is as stupid as the others and a total fairy tale. In nature, every member in a group can and does invite others to engage. Every member solicits for attention, support, and affection. I am sure that you have seen behaviors with you dog that made it clear that she wanted attention—or didn’t want to be bothered. That, too, is normal for wolves, and humans, and dogs. If our goal is to have a well-functioning relationship with our dog, checking for consent as well as allowing her to ask us when she needs something is part of the package. Who else could your dog ask when she has a need? And yes, attention is a need and a bark is an ask. Captive chimpanzees make a sound not found in nature. Its sole purpose seems to be to prompt a human’s attention. The scientist who worked with the chimps called it clever. When a dog barks with the same objective he is labelled dominant and ignored, and if he insists because the need is pressing, corrected. Barking is one way a dog tries to connect to a social group member, but he might also lay a paw on his person, nose butt or hip check, whine, or snatch an item and play keep-away. None of these are dominance, but care-seeking or play-initiating behaviors, and normal. If you find some of them obnoxious, teach your dog to communicate in ways you like better. BUT YOU HAVE TO TEACH IT! And it doesn’t mean that you always have to be readily available and there is a way to teach that too, but that’s another blog for another day.